There are no words...
This commentary will clearly be a difficult one to write as we approach September 11, 2002. Many many folks read the commentary I wrote after last year where I had some four hundred flames representing what I believed to be the number of firefighters killed. As we later learned the number was 343 but I never changed the page. We all lost so much more than that on that fateful day. More than 60 additional flames of life were snuffed out.
I am not sure what the totals are....2819 civilians, 413 total safety professionals, counting EMTS, Port Authority Police and NYPD. Those numbers lost matter a great deal. They are however insignificant when you look at the total numbers of people that have been affected. If each of those people knew and impacted fifty others ( a ridiculously low number) the impact is now 140,000 + people. And the people those people know etc., etc. The impact was huge, felt across America and in fact through millions and millions of people throughout the world.
I do not say this to diminish in any way those loss of lives. I say this to magnify the loss. There has been much symbolism and "words" and photographs after this event. Much of the words and photographs have been of the twin towers. Pieces of steel, concrete and glass. How ironic that we have chosen symbols of things that can be rebuilt. We have heard "words" of those people have not died in vain. How heartless and meaningless to those that have immediately lost loved ones. They are gone. They will never be on this earth again. And we try to make ourselves wash away our own pain by telling others their loved ones did not die in vain. Does that bring them home for the first communion they will never see? Does that replace the hugs that will never be felt again? How dare we that have not lost an immediate loved one be so uncaring.
As I stated in the title it is not about words.... or symbols for that matter, it is what it has always been about .....people and their feelings.
People will deal with this event in their own way. people will want to express themselves in each of their own ways this Wednesday. Our job for this week is to allow others to feel whatever it is they wish to feel and be there as a means of support and comfort, not judgment.
There have been many things that have shaped the American public views since September one year ago. I even see a tremendous and strange impact on myself in a number of ways.
I think there are a number of important things we can do to focus our tensions, stressors in a positive reaction to this horrific event.
Learn that life is precious and fragile. being in the fire service I have always had the thought that I could be injured or killed when responding. Thousands of innocent people went to work that day never having that thought. Live each moment of your life as a special one. Treasure moments with special people. I have a quote on my quote page attributed to Father Mychal Judge the Chaplain of FDNY. The quote is..."If you want to make God laugh, tell him what you are doing tomorrow"
In the days weeks and months after I felt a great deal of anger at why this happened. I think all Americans felt that way. That feeling just got refocused for me when I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer speaking. He talked about a man who described a turmoil inside him like two wolves fighting. One wolf wanted revenge and was filled with hatred, and the other had sorrow love and compassion. he spoke with the man and asked him which one would win the fight. The man replied simply which ever one I will continue to feed. This event affected us all and we should allow these multiple feelings to be felt within us. We must then choose personally to allow which ones we feel are most important to be the ones that overtake us. We are in charge of how we feel even in the face of these horrific things. Allow yourself to feel everything. Keep the good stuff.
There was an awful lot of patriotic spirit in the weeks after the incident. I am angry because I don't see so many flags on cars as I did then. I feel angry because I was a patriotic sort long before last year. I became a little sentimental about all of the renewed interest in the pledge of allegiance. I remember a ceremony where I was 12 or 13 years old and I was chosen to recite the pledge of allegiance at the dedication of a city square to a veteran. I was 13 a long time ago, so my patriotism was strengthened but not born on that day. If you flew a flag just after September 11, 2001 and you are not flying the same one or as many today, put them back. It is OK and you should. Besides, it would make me feel better. My feelings count too you know. It is interesting to note that today September 8th is the first date that the Pledge of Allegiance was ever published. Who knew?
All Americans, and all firefighters were especially affected by this incident. If you are a firefighter you should feel proud. If you are one of the millions of firefighters who could do nothing to help at the site, remember the words of Chief Crocker of FDNY. You took your first act of bravery the day you joined the department. As firefighter's remember why you are there in the first place. If you are not here for the right reasons then quietly leave. Many civilians do not understand that on September 11, 2001 hundreds of firefighters from the largest city, smaller departments like Washington DC and Arlington Virginia, to small departments like Shanksville Pennsylvania went into action in the most publicized tragedy that we can remember. In the past 365 days thousands and thousands more acts of bravery, help and compassion have been offered by millions of firefighters throughout this country and the world. The simple act of a firefighter EMT holding the hand of a dying elderly person is both notable and heroic to the people involved. The victim and their family. Firefighter's don't often recognize our simple efforts and the job we do. Firefighters will always hear and be conscious of things when they hear a siren. Whether you are a civilian or a firefighter, when you hear a siren say a silent prayer for firefighters everywhere. Say it louder if you are riding on the same apparatus as the siren.
Firefighters we held out as a symbol of heroes. Let us never forget our police officers from NYPD and the Port Authority. Not only the ones that were lost but the people in law enforcement today that must be wary of all. They treat innocent people differently today because they have to not because they want to. law enforcement as all American life changed on that day. A job that was extremely difficult was made ten times more so because of this. When you see a police officer, wave friendly, smile and give a thumbs up. If you are a firefighter and there are police fire rivalries in your community, put them to rest during the course of the next year. Call this week and make an appointment to fix it. We are all public safety professionals and there are clear differences but we are certainly on the same team.
The next time you are on a flight, smile and say thank you to the flight attendants. The first people killed on that day were flight attendants. people who like firefighters have to be trained in emergencies, and whose primary job it is to serve others. How embarrassing that we take them for granted. be patient and grateful for airport security. It is there for us.
Let us move forward in the coming year with our focus on people and actions, not words and symbols. Sure we need words and symbols to help us in our goal, but lets remember it is about all of us. Don't tell someone that they matter....show them. Don't tell someone you love them... show them. Don't say that your employees matter...prove it and make them matter.
This tragedy is like so many others that have occurred in history. I am sure our parents felt this way after Pearl Harbor and so forth. We have come full circle, and in many ways life is circular. A circle has no beginning and no end and lasts through eternity. It gets it's immediate strength fron the piece next to it. We should get our our strength from the people next to us and be reminded of the strength and long lasting power of a circle, but we should also remember that like a circle we shall have a hole in the middle of us that was left by this tragedy.
God Bless You all,
God Bless America.
I have posted this on the bulletin board as well. Please share your comments and feelings if you want to. When we say how we feel it will make us all feel better.